Escape Plans, Humility, and Naps.

John 11:33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 35 Jesus wept.

If you are alone and hurting and wondering why God isn’t saving you; I can testify to the fact that He desires nothing more than your salvation and freedom. He weeps with you.

If you are living in a house of horrors, if you’re crying in the dark, if you jump everytime a door slams, if you’re trapped, if you’re living in fear; it is time for an escape plan.

I escaped 8 times, so this will be an accumulation of knowledge pulled from my own experiences.

The first two things you need to do is spend time in prayer and praise.  Pray for guidance.  Praise Him because He is who He is, no matter any circumstances.  Then gather the necessary supplies.

• The most useful tool to have is your Bible, you will use this for guidance, comfort, wisdom. It is your deadliest weapon and will teach you how to armour up and be victorious in battle. (Do not be deceived, this will be a war, and you will win)
• Your support system.  This can be family, an estranged friend, the warriors at a domestic violence outreach, CPS, or even a kind semi-stranger.  You will need a person.  That you can trust. 
• Essentials.  Your escape bag can be a trash bag.  It just needs to hold stuff.  You will need your ID, social security cards, and birth certificates. Do not leave them in your wallet and assume that you can grab them on your way out.  If anyone takes a daily prescription include a week’s worth of doses.  A pair of shoes for each person and any money you can find, even if it’s only 3 dollars in change.
• A secret stash spot. Where your stash spot is will depend on your situation.  Ideas could include;  your work locker, the back of a friend’s linen closet, under the porch of a nearby empty house, a post office box.  Anywhere you can easily access that he won’t find.  This is where you will store your essentials.
• Separation from your plan.  Work on it, think on it only when productive, and then put it away in the back of your mind. Keep it a secret from yourself.  This will keep you from slipping up, or becoming overly anxious. 
• Make a mental list of your Resources
• Leave.  Pick a time that is safe,  when you know you will have enough time.  An abused woman knows her partner better than any person ever knew anyone.  I do not exaggerate when I tell you that your life is in the most danger while leaving, and for first few days after. You’re at risk of death if you stay also.  So leave. Quietly and boldly.
• Stay gone.  Cut all contact for as long as possible.  I strongly suggest 30 days.  Do not call or go back to get forgotten things. Turn off your phone’s location services, do not use social media, block his number, leave messages unopened and do not let him know where you are.  You are still susceptible to his charm during this time. The serotonin in your brain will lie to you and tell you you need him. This is one of the reasons you need to know how to armour up.
• Prepare for battle.  In the days after leaving you should start gearing up spiritually, your victory plan is in the bible.  Study it, pray without ceasing, and allow yourself to rest.  Sisters, you have been exhausted for so long that you can no longer tell the difference between pain and pleasure.  Rest and be restored.
• Live with grace.  You have been in the darkest pit, traveled through the deepest valley, and walked out of the fire.  Now is the time to live, not survive, thrive.  Joyously, gloriously, freely.

• Resources. You’ll soon discover that there are endless resources,  I’m only listing the ones I deem most useful.
• Most states will approve unemployment benefits for victims of domestic violence.  https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://d3vnvedzfq7zpv.cloudfront.net/content/uploads/20170511135406/tips-for-dv-survivors-seeking-unemployment-benefits.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj__N2D2u7qAhUD16wKHWTgBhkQFjAEegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw2xlyEDkiVdzRmZXmYNq8ne
• HUD assistance I know you’re worried about money sister, and you will probably need to reenter the work force at some point but there are programs to pay for your rent, bills, food.  A hand up will make all the difference.   https://www.hud.gov/topics/rental_assistance
• Food stamps (SNAP)  In emergency situations you can start receiving benefits in 10 days or less.  And if you are homeless you can use the local FSSA  office address for your application.  https://www.usa.gov/food-help
• Counseling, therapy, mental health services.  I can not stress this enough, you and you children will need counseling.  Trauma, especially repeat trauma, physically changes your brain.  Memory problems, lack of impulse control, anxiety these are just the tip of the iceberg. https://connect.aacc.net/?search_type=distance https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
• Local Police Department. Many police stations have funds for emergency hotel rooms.  That money is set aside for you in this time of need, ask for it.
• Making phone call after phone call, typing email after email can be exhausting.  Humbling ourselves takes incredible courage and faith. I know. Advocate for yourself. You are worthy and deserving of help.  And it is a blessing to the helpers to help you, so push forward and keep calling.     thehotline.org

James 4:6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you.

I want to leave you with one more lesson; and I learned this in very difficult way.  Yes, having faith is essential, but with faith you must have work.  You can not hide under the covers and count on your faith to feed or free you.  Instead you use that faith to leap into the unknown.  Have faith that your efforts will see fruit; you have to do the work.

James 2:17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”Show me your faith without deeds,and I will show you my faith by my deeds

Even Moses, a man of incredible faith had to put a little work in.

Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
15 The Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward. 16 Lift up your staff, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, that the people of Israel may go through the sea on dry ground.

Sisters, I am praying for you.  All of us who made it out the other side are praying for you.  There is a victorious and joyous life waiting for you.